she believed she could…

A single mother/empty nester's survival blog.


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The List

The blog world is a wonderful thing. I knew there had to be more people out there like me! It even seems some people are dancing in the streets, delighted to finally empty their nest. Me, not so much, but the main theme we all seem to have in common is thinking about time for ourselves and what to do with it. So yesterday, as we were crossing things off the dorm packing list, I decided to make my own list. Call it a bucket list or whatever you like, but the goal is to build a list of any and all things I want to do with my time. Things I’ve always been meaning to do or thought about trying, but could never quite get up the gumption to make it happen.

Being single makes some of those things easier, because there’s no one to convince or cajole but myself. For the harder ones, well, I’m just going to put them down anyway. Middle-aged and single are two traits that I haven’t let get in my way yet, so why start now? The best tip I read was not only to keep the list fluid, but to put it in my phone so that when I think of something it goes right on the list. And since I have my phone with me all the time, it will be a constant reminder to get moving.

Even better, when I shared this idea with my daughter, her smile said it all. Funny how we are both at opposite spectrums of our lives yet we both know it’s what’s inside that drives us. Her independent nature, desire to succeed and self confidence has come from me ~ so why should I stop now?

And here’s one more tidbit I found to pass on: There are meet up groups for all sorts of people and activities across the US and I was pleasantly surprised to find one for empty nesters!

Here’s a link to get you started: Empty Nester Meetup Group


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Two weeks and counting…

In just two short weeks, we’ll be boarding a plane to move my daughter into her Freshman dorm. Myself and my ex have a roundtrip ticket and my daughter a one-way. I say that because it helps me to make it real, but it doesn’t stop the tears from forming. I totally lost it yesterday while shopping for her 18th birthday card. Could I read ANY of them without holding back the tears? Of course I couldn’t. Next stop was the dvd aisle where all I seemed to focus on were movies we had watched together. And why did I have to walk down the family section only to see a copy of The Sound of Music, which brought back more memories?? Will I ever be able to do anything normal without thinking of her? God, I hope so.

These bouts of tears come and go and I’m really trying to be cognizant of not letting her see me cry. She is so excited about this next big step and worrying about me is not what she needs. It’s easier when I stay busy, and since planning and checking things off the list are like comfort food for me, that’s what I concentrate on doing. Even sitting on her bed while she goes through clothes to take/not take was easier than thinking about it.

Boxes half packed, lists half checked…ugh, I think I just want the day to be here!

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