In just two short weeks, we’ll be boarding a plane to move my daughter into her Freshman dorm. Myself and my ex have a roundtrip ticket and my daughter a one-way. I say that because it helps me to make it real, but it doesn’t stop the tears from forming. I totally lost it yesterday while shopping for her 18th birthday card. Could I read ANY of them without holding back the tears? Of course I couldn’t. Next stop was the dvd aisle where all I seemed to focus on were movies we had watched together. And why did I have to walk down the family section only to see a copy of The Sound of Music, which brought back more memories?? Will I ever be able to do anything normal without thinking of her? God, I hope so.

These bouts of tears come and go and I’m really trying to be cognizant of not letting her see me cry. She is so excited about this next big step and worrying about me is not what she needs. It’s easier when I stay busy, and since planning and checking things off the list are like comfort food for me, that’s what I concentrate on doing. Even sitting on her bed while she goes through clothes to take/not take was easier than thinking about it.

Boxes half packed, lists half checked…ugh, I think I just want the day to be here!